Blogging Break.....

Wow, I can't believe how much time has gone by since I posted last! I'm sorry I've been neglecting my blog. After returning from an incredibly fun 4th of July Clear Lake trip, I lost my job. I don't know how to put into words the roller coaster of emotions I've been feeling for the last 6 weeks, but I'll try.

Frustration! - Finally, after years of struggling as a single income family, we got back up on our feet and both Jason and I were working. We had a plan.... we were going to finally be able to pay down the debt we've incurred over the last few years. Just as soon as we all got accustomed to our new schedule... we get kicked back down!

Relief! - I hadn't been very happy with my job for months. I didn't feel like there was any growth opportunities and didn't really enjoy what I was doing. I wasn't happy going to work every day and didn't feel like any of what I did made a difference.

Depression! - I don't know how many times a girl can get laid off before she starts doubting herself/abilities/skills/knowledge/etc. I've been laid off more times than anyone I know! Since 2001 my positions have been relocated, outsourced, downsized, and eliminated 5 times! I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever find the right match for me.

Excited! - I'm excited for the potential opportunities that lay ahead. The unknown... the possibilities... the fresh start! It's all scary and new, but it's intriguing!

Tired! - Every time I start a new job.... I'm starting from scratch. I'm starting at the bottom... I'm coming in at the ground floor.... sometimes "entry level" because it's all I can do to bring money in to help support the family. I'm so tired of not advancing in my career. I'm tired of starting over. I'm tired of being the low man on the totem pole. I'm tired of not having any seniority. I'm tired of not being valued and appreciated. I'm tired of being overlooked because I don't have my degree.

Frightened! - It's been 6 weeks now.... and I've gotten no where with my job search. I'm starting to freak out a little that I won't find anything! I've submitted my resume to dozens of places and have only heard from 2 of them... both "Thanks but no thanks!" I'm scared that I'm not going to find anything... or that I'll have to settle for less money than I know I'm worth!

There are many more feelings and thoughts that come to mind, but mostly I'm just scared!